Where My Life Is Currently

So it seems another year has slipped past and it dawns on me I have again lost interest in my blog. Shame on me.

Well, no. Not at all. I keep this blog for me and me alone. I simply am open about sharing it with anyone so moved to read along. I'm happy to be one of those "occasional" bloggers, who have elemental spirits and do what they feel like without expectation or obligation. Sounds nice, huh?

So what have I been up to over the last year? Well, great question. And now, writing this, I realise why keeping a blog is such a handy thing, in being a fairly good substitute for a good memory.

I honestly can't recall the last year in it's entirety. Who could?

But in recent months a growing restlessness has made itself known. A part of that could be that my partner is now working all across the country and in response to that, life for both of us has changed a lot. I now live on my own for most of the time, in between his infrequent visits. There are always pros and cons to anything. I miss him, but the house is cleaner. You know, that sort of thing...

But the restlessness is deeper than that. I have always had a spiritual side. However, I have been neglecting it. Worse still, I occasionally have tried to satiate that aspect of myself with piffy, fluffy paranormal nonsense. My instinct that there is more to life than what we see and than what we are told can't be dulled or hushed any longer. While UFOs, psychic phenomena and paranormal philosophies are all interesting in their own right, they are still a distraction from a true spiritual journey. That's how I see it anyway.

You see, my spiritual journey, truly spiritually focused, needs to be about what is inside. About knowing. About instinct. Not about what is outside. I can only nurture my potential and development from inside myself. That's not to say I can only strive for my spiritual goals by isolating myself from the world, but I do need to be more critical of what I allow to grab my attention and about what I allow myself to be guided by.

I have begun meditating. When I was much younger I meditated for a short time. I stopped because it brought up uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. I found it all quite confronting. Now, feeling more mature and more accepting of those aspects, I have revisited the practice. I am having mixed results, but overall I'm having positive experiences.

In looking inward more, I have also decided to try my hand at creating. This will be a long process and I see no need to try and rush it. I know from deep inside that I want to just make something. I have bought a yukulele, knowing fine well that I could not be less musical if I tried. But I will learn how to play. I also will learn to draw and am crafting a plan on revisiting my writing with some short stories in the pipeline.

I think focusing on creating more from inside, and consuming less from the outside world, will do my mind and soul a lot of good. I am not sure if I will ever be an enlightened man. Simply, the awakening has begun. For now, for my spirit and mind, that's enough.

But what about my body? If you know anything about me, you will know I have been trying to lose weight for years. I am pretty much done with that goal! I have went from 127kg, to now being 72kg. It's been a long time coming. Over 3 years I think. Almost don't quite believe it but I'm there!

I still need to look at toning up, as I have a fair amount of loose skin. Have a look on the INSTAGRAM tab above to see a video of me demonstrating how much I have, even on my face. Oh, and I should be getting braces soon too, to straighten out my teeth. I'm both scared and excited!

But it is all a process. Weight loss was a process. Toning up will be a process. Becoming spiritually brighter and more evolved is a process. Life is a process. And do you know what?! It's meant to be. It's meant to be experienced and savoured, it's meant to be loved and not-so-loved, it's meant to be resisted and embraced. So I'm having fun with it.

I have said for years that I want to be wonderful. I'm getting there. I hope you are too.