An Update. Where Have You Been?

Well? Where have you been? You haven't visited me for a while and I have been up to so much in the last few weeks. Really. I've done heaps.

I got phase 2 of my Clear Correct treatment for my teeth. Here's a video. Don't get excited - I'm not naked.

Maybe.


Maybe a month ago now I crashed my car. Crash sounds dramatic. You know me, toned down and too cool for school.

I had been driving in the rain. Not aimlessly, you understand. I was going somewhere, with intent, to a specific destination. In fact, I had left earlier than necessary because I had a couple of things to do and there was a lot of "weather" happening.

As I headed towards a set of traffic lights, the little darling turned red. The car in front of me stopped appropriately, obeying the red messenger of STOP. I, however, did not. I began to break and it was clear I had no control over my car. I think I was aquaplaning. That sounds like a fun word, aquaplaning, but I didn't have much fun. Trying to not hit the car in front of me, I turned my steering wheel to the right. The car ignored this and continued in it's original trajectory. I couldn't stop and I couldn't swerve. So what did I do?

I closed my eyes. I held the steering wheel tight with both hands. Then I said "Shit!".

This was as good a coping strategy as I could come up with under the circumstances. Don't judge me.

So I did indeed smack into the car in front. I turned off my car, all rationally flooded at this point, and got out. The driver of the other car stepped out and, instead of shouting or threatening me, he was actually lovely. I repeated several times that I was sorry, that I hoped he was OK. He said it was fine. I then quickly checked both cars and I couldn't see damage on either.

This stranger, this dignified man, then jumped in his car and drove off, drama free. I really expected at the very least to have him take my details. He may have been in a little shock.

Anyway. A couple of weeks ago we went to The Melbourne Zoo. That's our second visit and it was still fun. I put some photos up on my instagram if you want to catch up on my antics in a visual fashion. I was frustrated at times, though, because a lot of the animals were sleeping or hiding. Sigh. But it's not all about me.

We saw Ryan Reynolds as the majorly hyped Deadpool. It was enjoyable, but I can't help think The Green Lantern would kick his ass...

We've also been off to see the filming of The Project again too. We had been once before.

If you haven't seen it, it's a news magazine type show, layered with humour. It's good value and looks at topical issues etc.

The tickets to sit in the audience are free too. You turn up at the allotted time, file into a room where you are quickly acquainted with terms, conditions and rules of participating as an audience member, then taken to the studio. It might sound silly, but it was fun. We were taken down corridors, past rooms with panels of blinking lights and countless screens. The researchers, technicians and all those other people that make the TV magic happen all waved and smiled at us as we shuffled past.

In this photo you can sort of see our heads. You can see my bald patch!

The episode we saw filmed was one with Danni Minogue as a guest. If I wanted to risk some official, reactionary process of the law, I might have been braver. I was close enough at one point to touch her. But I didn't touch her. At all. Or smell her. I will continue to deny it.

What was cool, though, was as we were leaving, we exited via an elevator. It initially went to the wrong floor and Carri Bickmore, one of the presenters, got in. She was friendly and warm. I thanked her, you know, for the chance to see the show being made. She then said, "No, thank you!". Aww. She's lovely.

Oh. But crappy things have happened too, over the last few weeks. Life. It's a roller coaster, alright! For months I have had my life punctuated by the sound of an alarming car. It alarms most days, day and night. I think it must be very sensitive. Aren't we all.

Well, last week was as bad as it gets. One night, in the space of 8 hours, it alarmed no less than 18 times. I know, because it kept me awake, and as neurotic as I am at the best of times, I became a "counter". I'm not proud. You know the sort. Counters. But the more I counted, the more righteous I felt, justified in my right to be furious.

I ended up calling the police. I detailed the months of the same, that this night it had went off several times. I was told that if it alarmed again, I was to call back. Again? Was he not listening? Of course it was going to alarm again, that's all it's been doing. But he's a cop, a man of the law, fair and balanced etc.

So I agreed. I hung up, began to think about how sorry I felt for my poor, exhausted mind and body when...Yeah, that bastard, demon car started to alarm AGAIN.

I was almost cheery when I called the policeman again. See, see, I told you!

He told me he'd put a note on the car for the owner to call him. By 8.30a.m. a note was there, on the windshield. But wait, there was another note too. A neighbour had shared the trauma of a sleepless night with me. I wasn't alone.

Since then, the car has alarmed maybe 3 or 4 times. I see the owner has also put a cheeky note on the car too. Something about people not helping with her car being broken into. Except the car has not been broken into. Not the 18 times it alarmed that night, at least, as I crazily stared at it for 8 bloody hours.

...And what am I doing now? Well, it turns out when I bumped my car, I did damage it. There are two very small dents in the bonnet. Not a big deal. Except I can't open it. So I can't fill my window washers with water. Oh, and I can't investigate why my engine light is now on.

So I'm waiting for a mechanic to have a look, fix it and screw me for $$$ :(

Just now I'm trying to think of how the conversation will go.

Mechanic: So, it took us hours and was really difficult, eh and had to order some parts that are really hard to come by. It'll be $LOTS, thanks.

Me: Would you need it paid in money?

Mechanic: You mean in cash?

Me: No, as in, would you accept an alternative to money?

Mechanic: What?

Me: I'm freshly showered.

Mechanic: Huh?

Me: And you can call me anything. Like Jack, Lucy, boy...

Mechanic: Mate...

Me: No, try it. Boy. You might like it. Use it in a sentence. Say "Get on your knees boy. Thank me, boy, for fixing your car.

So I know that won't work. Wish me luck.

I think that's you all caught up on the many happenings in my life.

Don't leave it so long til you visit again, you hear? 

Royal Botanic Gardens - Cranbourne, Victoria

I'm not feeling terribly well today. I'm having a day on the couch, feeling sorry for myself.

I have both diarrhoea and sneezing, a combination of symptoms that keep you feeling...on edge. If you let yourself relax too much there could be...consequences.

So, confined to the house, I thought I'd quickly post about our day trip, earlier in the week, to Cranbourne's Royal Botanic Gardens.

On Tuesday Sam and I were at a loose end and, in the spirit of exploring Melbourne, I suggested we visit The Royal Botanic Gardens in Cranbourne.

I had heard some really lovely things about these gardens. The weather was great, we had a full tank of petrol and well, everyone loves gorgeous gardens, don't they! Plus, they are less then an hour from where we live.

The Royal Botanic Gardens, Cranbourne (not the one in the city, which we are yet to visit), is an area of land said to span almost 400 hectares. The scale of all things Australian is just mind-boggling. I believe it was established around or before the 70s, with much emphasis on research and conservation. Within it, in addition to woodlands and wetlands, there are many walking trails (bushland tracks) and an area called The Australian Garden. Opening to the public in 2006, The Australian Garden exhibits over 100,000 plants, showcasing the beauty and diversity of Australian indigenous life. As a bonus, entry is free. Which is actually amazing.

No day out is complete without a selfie.

This is me trying to pose, but having to wave a cloud of flies away...I like to think it made for some awesome dance moves.

The displays were stunning!

As you can see, there was much on offer. Walking through the gardens felt at times like wandering through a painting. Perhaps Mary Poppins had worked some magic charm on us? Vivid colours and a variety of moving forms, danced around us. More shades of green than the average person can name were punctuated by oranges, reds and purples. This is a very beautiful place.

Skilled and passionate people tirelessly tend to and maintain these gardens. There is education, literature and talks available for kids, young and old. There seems to always be a project or event that people can participate in too. There are also a few different places to grab a coffee, ice cream or even a meal. They even sell sunscreen, which was a real godsend for us fair-skinned Scots on what was a hot, sunny day. It's great!

Of course, with the gardens being free, they are always on the lookout for volunteers and donations are ever-welcome. An impressive and well-organised offering, especially on this scale, is very worthy of support!

The gardens are home to many species of native birds, mammals and yes, even snakes. If you do visit during the warmer months, keep an eye out. There are staff always monitoring public areas and putting these "beware the snakes" signs out when there are sightings, keeping people informed and safe. We were on our way to a kiosk to buy some water, when a family ahead of us had just seen a snake. It had, I guess, got a bigger fright than the family and disappeared under some decking. A garden staff member had quickly been on hand and was using a radio to spread the word there had been another sighting.

All very exciting stuff! In saying that, I am yet to see a real snake in the wild here in Australia. I  have seen lizards, but no snakes. I'm thinking that makes me lucky!

Once we had explored the gardens, we headed home, but not before we had a quick lunch at the Cranbourne RSL.

As you may know, RSL stands for The Returned and Services League. This organisation, also very worthy of support, exists to help those who have (past), do (present) and will (future) serve their country. Visit here for more information about them. 2016 marks 100 years since they were established. Check the link, as there is probably a branch closer to you than you realise, making it even easier to support them.

RSL Cranbourne

We hadn't realised when we arrived, but the RSL had just stopped serving lunch. The staff were so lovely, though, they said we could go up to their restaurant area and they would accomodate us. How nice is that?! Our meals were really tasty and we weren't hurried out. In fact, a lady serving us explained, as we finished our meal, that the staff were finished but that we were welcome to stay as long as we liked. I thanked her very much for squeezing us in as that level of courtesy isn't common today at all. Her warmth and generosity was very much appreciated.

All in all, we had a lovely day.

Back to the present moment, right now, I'm going to take some paracetamol for my aches and have a glass of water. Send me healing thoughts.

Thanks for stopping by. Ta ta for now.

We Found Ourselves In A State Of Grace, Then We Were Shown Joy

Yes, being in Melbourne, we somehow found ourselves in a State Of Grace. A couple of days later we were indeed shown Joy.

Am I speaking in euphemisms or metaphors? Nah. State Of Grace has to be one of Melbourne's best restaurants. We found ourselves there on Saturday evening, celebrating our 16th year anniversary.

Yes, yes, we're both saints because neither of us have resorted to murder. We know. But we love each other. Aaaawww.

We are not the most organised people and we had not arranged to do anything for our anniversary. You know, to mark the occasion and all that.

Yes, we are both men, and no we had not simply forgotten it was our anniversary. In fact, the night before, we competed to wish each other Happy Anniversary, to see who could say it first, ha!

So, on Saturday afternoon, as you do, I started calling around restaurants. This was quite daunting as we haven't been in Melbourne long and are still discovering what is and isn't to our taste (and budget). That, combined with the pressure of only having a few hours to find something suitable that isn't booked out on a weekend evening, made me think the task was a little tricky.

I initially called Mr Mason. No, he is not my personal assistant who only ever says "Yes, Sir", or "Of course, if you are are sure Sir", orders my newspapers and assassinates my opponents for me (because that would be awesome!) This is a French restaurant which seems to be reviewed quite well on the good old internet. However, they were fully booked. This is more disappointing than you know, as I really fancied trying snail. Or at least making Sam try snail. Or, at the very least, ordering snail, instagramming the photographs and pretending to have eaten snail.

Being fully booked is a good sign of their standard and quality, but unfortunate for us. The woman I spoke to apologised but offered a suggestion. She explained State Of Grace was not far from Mr Mason and, although she was unsure if they would be able to accommodate us either, it was worth trying as they offered something pretty special.

With trying to book a restaurant table on a Saturday in Melbourne, I thought it couldn't hurt to try. State Of Grace were indeed busy and could not accommodate us in the time slot I wanted but we did manage to get a table.

Arriving at the restaurant, we were shown quickly to our table and we were immediately struck by the ambiance and charm around us.

Trinkets and treasure were all around us. Silver teapots (appropriate as silver holloware is associated with the 16th anniversary), lamps, old & new furniture, worn books, suitcases and all sorts of bric 'a' brac decorated the restaurant. And it all seemed to just work. It felt warm, safe and welcoming, without losing any of it's class.

Actually, it was quite beautiful. Maybe it was because I was feeling all romantic, with it being our anniversary. But the antiques, odd couplings of items old and new and warm lighting choices all came together to set a scene. It was a scene that created context for people celebrating their anniversaries, first and second dates, catch-ups with friends and so on. It was all very human.

Zephyr waited on us. Zephyr, as a side note, means a soft and gentle breeze. Lovely! And so was Zephyr. She was gorgeous. Friendly and knowledgeable, she was also patient with us as we asked about what elements of the menu meant. Menus do seem to list some of their dishes with fancy names & terms and as I don't go out often I have no idea what half of it means.

The food really was quite special. The lady from Mr Mason was not lying. Every forkful was tastier than the last. I am by no measure anything like a food critic. I do eat, though. You will not eat food like this often.

We shared some warm bread that came with medallions of golden "cultured" butter and golden brown prawn & prosciutto croquettes. I have no idea how to formulate a description for how delicious these croquettes were. You have to try them!

Sam had a Scotch Fillet and I ordered the Bannockburn Chicken. We then both went on to have the chocolate mousse dish, including caramelized banana and peanut brittle, for dessert.

As I'm writing these dishes down I am unimpressed with how each item will be poorly translated from my lived experience, through this blog, to your mind. You have to understand, each dish was a journey of culinary adventure and indulgence. I know I'm gushing about State Of Grace. I'm not apologetic. And no, this is not a paid post. Although if the owners read this and want to give us a free meal I couldn't bring myself to refuse. How could I?! (Pretty please?)

I should also mention that I believe there to be a secret Fall From Grace bar, to which access is via a secret entrance. (I caught a glimpse of someone pulling a book and a book case sliding to reveal a whole other world, but I couldn't investigate as I needed to pee at the time). All pretty special.

If you do visit this restaurant I hope you have Zephyr waiting on you too, as her great service is a real bonus to a lovely foodie experience.

Then today we thought we would take the train into the city and see if we could get lost.

Melbourne city is actually quite hard to get lost in. Coming from me, that's something!

We discovered, following a brisk stroll along the river, that The National Gallery of Victoria was only a further short walk down St. Kilda Road. I love seeing sculptures and paintings, knowing the skill, talent and time that goes into making it possible.

The gallery didn't disappoint.

As well as all the usual items of art and culture, all worthy of taking a Ferris Bueller-style day off for, my favourite was the Ixian Gate. Here you place a screen visor over your eyes and headphones over your ears. Plunged into a virtual 3D world, you pass by strange creatures while worlds build up and dissolve around you. It reminded me of a lucid dream. It was wonderful. It takes you on a journey for only a few minutes but I really did have to keep reminding myself I was in a gallery surrounded by people. Please give this a shot if you get the opportunity.

We ended up visiting the Australian Centre For The Moving Image, at Federation Square. We had been here before and as fun as it is, the exhibits hadn't changed much. They did have a cool Cate Blanchett exhibit.

We wandered around but quickly sought entertainment elsewhere. There was a large water slide in the centre of the square but we hadn't brought our swimmers...sad face.

We were hot and tired. We could have headed home but we decided we weren't done yet. That's when we were shown Joy. At the cinema. Everyone's favourite actress of the moment, Jennifer Lawrence stars and does a great job. I had thought the movie was supposed to be a comedy. Some of the others in the audience did laugh throughout the movie. But I saw it as quite a hard snapshot of a woman's life, a woman who is manipulated and used repeatedly by people who are meant to love and cherish her. In saying that, it isn't depressing. There are many light moments to punctuate the frustrating journey the movie takes you on as you will Joy (Lawrence) to stand up for herself.

It isn't overly predictable, you will sympathise for certain characters, detest others, but you will feel for them. That's the measure of a good movie, one that takes you along with it, when you can share in the disappointments and successes.

Well, it looks like it's almost bed time. I'm off to brush my teeth and get ready as I am in much need of a long and restful sleep.

If you want to see more photos, you are welcome to visit my instagram. The photos aren't very sexy but it's me. Pop by and say "Hello".

In honour of Zephyr, here are some music videos. She is mentioned in Madonna's Ray Of Light and Red Hot Chilli Peppers' The Zephyr Song. Enjoy!

Sorrento, Costco, Fish & Chips And An Adoption Dream

Weird life, ain't it?!

Yesterday wasn't anything unusual, as days go. Sam and I thought we'd visit our local Costco. We didn't need much, just milk and orange juice, but well, why not?

As you may know, Costco is a wholesale retailer and you need to be a member to shop with them. That's fine. There are some great savings to be had, for sure. Sam and I miss out on most of them in that we are a family of 2 and there really is only so much you can buy in bulk at a time without looking like crazy people. Families obviously benefit more. And businesses of course.

On our arrival at the store, a staff member whizzed by families and groups of women, making a bee line straight for us. He demanded to see our membership cards. I'm on board with needing membership to purchase goods, I'm a little fuzzy about needing membership to enter the shop...But even so, why pass people, who were not vetted, so he could essentially challenge us?

I admit I was wearing a baseball cap. I must have looked decidedly dangerous and up to no good. I also have a wicked sense of humour, an IQ of 143 and just sparkle in the bedroom (I've got moves he'll never see). If only he had taken the time to get to know me before proceeding with what felt like an attack. I would have considered role-playing as his victim if he had at least bought me dinner first. Or even a snack. A Cherry Ripe, even.

The vibe felt "off". He had no reasonable response when I asked why other people were streaming in without being questioned in the same manner. Frustrated, we continued to buy our orange juice and milk. We got to the checkout and, when asked how we were, I conveyed my frustrations to the checkout operator. She looked blankly at me, then wished me a good day. No appreciation of our feedback was given, nor was there an offer of "Oh dear, let me get a manager, if you'd like?".

Apathy is spreading like a malignancy throughout our society. It has for years I suppose. It's got to the point where people, their brains and their responses are so dulled, we'd be as well being a species of zombies. That's how we must look. If we aren't tripping up on to a pavement because we can't raise our eyes from our smart phone (saw a man nearly fall over like this 2 days ago and he still didn't stop looking at his phone), we navigate human interaction in a sedated, numb fashion. People can't engage anymore. Not naturally. Not without something dramatic, startling or dangerous happening. Even then I'm sure many are just going through the motions.

"Oh, I hear your child died. How awful...Have you seen "Zoo" on Netflix?"

A species of zombie psychopaths. Nil empathy. Nil awareness.

Then, on our way out we had to show our receipt. I'm sure there was an unvoiced "or else". I'm advised this is so any scanning errors can be corrected. It couldn't possibly be that we might have risked a criminal record for milk and juice. I did have that baseball cap on, remember. And it was blue!

The woman, when scrutinising our receipt, asked if we were satisfied with our shopping experience, if we had got everything we wanted. I said "no" and she responded "ok, have a nice day".

If that is how Costco wants to operate, if that's how their staff are trained, if that's the experience they want patrons to have, I doubt I'll shop there very often. Of course, I don't buy enough there for Costco to really care in any real way. I think a high standard of customer service is a small courtesy that should be extended to me and mine regardless of how many dollars I give them.

That was that.

The day continued in a strange fashion. As many of my days often do. We went for Fish & Chips. I was desperately needing to pee. I saw a lady standing outside the shop and asked her if she knew of any public toilets nearby...She looked at me, half clutched at her chest and almost whispered that she did in fact not know of any such thing. She looked a little frightened. That bloody baseball cap again! She continued that it was only her second time here. By "here" I'm not sure if she meant Earth, Melbourne or the chip shop. I suppose I will never know.

Sam and I went in to the shop. Another lady was speaking to the guy serving behind the counter. She was blond, tall, abrupt. He was short, dark and very patient. She wanted a whole list of items, initially separate, then together, then packaged together but paid for separately, then paid for together but individually itemised...And so it went on. The man remained calm and adapted every time she spoke and changed her mind. He was lovely.

While Sam was waiting to order I went to look for a toilet. I saw a sign and through the power of my literacy and imagination, I worked out there was a toilet in the basement car park, nearby. So I pressed for the elevator. The doors opened and inside was a family, 2 parents and a millions kids. I verbalised I would wait for the next one. The doors closed. I waited. I pressed for the elevator again and again the doors opened and again there was the family, all of them, still there, staring at me. I laughed and wondered if they had pressed the button for their floor? They said they were off to the 7th floor (I'm not sure there were 7 floors) and that they had not pressed a button. At this I shook my head and gave up. I went back to the chip shop - the blond, abrupt woman thankfully gone - and waited for our order Sam had placed.

Then, still needing to pee, I tried for this toilet in the basement car park again. You will be glad to know the elevator had now been vacated. I got to the toilet in a straightforward fashion, only to find it bloody locked. So again, I returned to the chip shop, now with Sam collecting the order and went back to the car. I kept my legs crossed the whole way home without having an accident. I am a grown up after all. Well, okay, I suppose it depends on your criteria and the context...

So that was essentially how our day went. Why then, would I go on to dream last night that I was adopting 2 boys? In the dream, I went into an office, spoke with 2 women, probable social worker types and met with a man and the 2 boys. The younger boy was called Max and his big brother was called Daniel. The man, I think, was their Uncle.

Anyway, today has been quite lovely. Sam and I were off to Sorrento and Port Sea today, making a visit to see what the fuss was all about. It's a pretty little area down on the Mornington Peninsula, but far too busy. I had forgotten it was Summer Holidays and the place was crazy with tourists and holiday goers. The beaches are beautiful, little boats line the coast and there are galleries and cafes everywhere you look. We popped into The Smashing Bean for coffee. It was lovely (at tourist prices I'm glad it was lovely) and the pumpkin baguette I had was really tasty. Sam had his usual Mocha. He insists on ordering a Mocha when we go to cafes, then complains they are never chocolatey enough. He just won't order a Hot Chocolate, which would be a simple fix. Oh no, it has to be a Mocha.

We also found a cannon. You know us boys and cannons. It's a law...somewhere...that if you see a cannon, you have to honour Cher, singing and dancing on it. So we did. In full view of some European tourists. Fun!

I'm not sure what we'll see or do next, but it's exciting that this is us beginning to really see what Melbourne and the surrounding areas have to offer. A whole world of opportunity and adventure is right on our doorstep.

If you live in Melbourne, or have visited and have a suggestion for something we shouldn't miss, let me know!

Thanks. Bye for now.

How I Celebrated New Year's Eve 2015

It's the 2nd of January 2016. Weird, huh? All that fuss and madness, like every year, and it's all over, just like that (I'm snapping my fingers, just like the diva I know I am in my heart).

How did you celebrate New Year's Eve? I hope you aren't still hungover (I'm sure some of you probably are).

Well, because you're here, I'd love to tell you how I celebrated, with cheerful friends, expensive champagne and amazing fireworks.

I'd love to tell you that. But it's not the case. That's not how I saw the end of 2015 and the beginning of 2016.

I worked on New Year's Eve. I then went home and had a glass of red wine and some peanut M & Ms, while scanning Facebook and Twitter. Sounds boring to some people, I imagine.

My partner and I hadn't danced the special dance for a few days. With it being New Year's Eve (like birthdays and anniversaries) and factoring in some husbandly duty, we had lovely knee-trembling, love-handle-shaking fun.

Then we went to sleep.

No music, no party, no clubbing...but also no projectile vomiting, or crying people, or strangers trying to grab me to tell me how amazing I am and how much they love me. Ugh! All in all, a pretty nice night.

I don't know about you, but I think New Year's Eve isn't what it used to be. When I was growing up, we either held a house party, or had to go to one. Then, on 1st January, my family went visiting friends and family they hadn't seen the night before, to wish everyone a great new year. It usually ended with my dad in bed by mid-afternoon, drunk. But it was all very social.

Now people do seem to still have parties, but less so. It seems more common to go pubbing and clubbing, for the younger ones at least. Indeed, where I live, there was no music (or fights). The neighbours seemed to all have equally quiet evenings as we did ourselves. Which was quite lovely.

Very civilised.

And now we look forward.

How did you celebrate? How has your year begun? I hope all is well with you and that you have gotten off to a good start, to your 2016 and to your next chapter. Anyone have a 1, 3, 6 and / or 12 month plan? I was considering putting one together for myself. If you have any tips let me know. Thanks.

Anyway, I'm off for a rest as I'm hoping for some sexy time later (come on, it's Saturday!) and I need to save my strength. Another year has passed and I need to pace myself, you know.

Bye.

Spoken Word Poetry - Happy 2016!

It's nearly that time people!

Tonight will be the last night of 2015. A simple tick of a clock, ring of a bell and turn of a page on a calendar, will mean it's 2016, January 1st.

Woohooo!

With the time of year in mind, and because I've been very much enjoying the art form of "spoken word poetry", via YouTube, I thought I'd give it a bash.

My attempt is less of a performance, and more me just speaking aloud some words I wrote. The audio quality is also not the best, as I have aircon on (it is summer here in Melbourne). Also, I was in a rush as I was making (burning) porridge (yes, even though it is summer). Oh, and while I recorded the poem, I also desperately needed to pee (nothing to do with it being summer, or porridge for that matter). Just so you know the context.

I also blame my porridge for my somewhat depressing take on New Year. It's a comfort food, but a miserable one. I know you'll agree.

Other than that, my excuses and so on, I'm sure you will agree my attempt at spoken word poetry is...rot. But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Look! A Flying Priest!

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it the man of steel?

No!

It's the flying priest!

You could be forgiven for thinking now is the ideal time of year for miracles. Well, I'm not sure miracles necessarily need perfect timing or scheduled slots on a calendar. However, being Christmas does seem to lend itself, doesn't it? But alas, no, the flying priest was no miracle.

The ABC reports that Father Albert San Jose of the Our Lady of Miraculous Medal in the Laguna province, Manila, has been suspended. Why? Because he decided to perform part of the Eucharist while singing on a hoverboard, or segway board, as seems a better term (thanks Mr. Crowe).

Can't religion incorporate technology and social trends in it's rituals and practices, engaging their flock and maintaining their relevance?

I'm sure they can. But even I think it's a bit of a stretch to think this stunt makes the Eucharist seem a less powerful way to worship and more of a comedy skit. I'm torn over this, as, although not religious myself, I know some deeply religious people could view this as disrespectful. They have. These types reported this man to his Bishop, even though the performance does seem to have been done in good fun, with a gregarious spirit which he reportedly is known for.

Imagine being present, when the Father suddenly decides to hop on his hoverboard and glide around in time to the music. Head-bobbing, hip-twisting, fist-pumping and partying the night away. Let's get down and diggity, ha! 

It would have been entertaining and a bit of a reprieve from the usual hum drum of what would be a well-known ritual. But ritual has power and some tweaks rob them of their power. Like I said, I'm torn.

The gentleman in question apparently, according to the article, has now begun to reflect on his actions and realised they were inappropriate. No Madonna numbers in the near future then?

A part of me wonders, though, that while Church attendances and those identifying as Christian do seem to be reducing so quickly, perhaps incidents like these can be used to serve a larger purpose. Some much needed PR is needed, but then that has always been the case with the Church.

God bless Father Albert. Sometimes Priests Just Want To Have Fun -

I love a bit of Cyindi Lauper, don't you?!

Our Christmas Day 2015

We had a lovely Christmas day yesterday.

We got up late, having stayed up the night before re-watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer and eating McDonalds. Rock and roll!

We exchanged presents over coffee. We (I) had initially decided we didn't need to exchange presents as we are very good to ourselves. That and the fact Sam is ridiculously difficult to buy for. He never knows what he wants and regardless of how many times I ask, or in how many different ways I frame the question, he never simply says, "Oh, this year I would love x, y and z..."

So, knowing he is a big kid at heart, I couldn't just get him zip. I likes his smelly stuff and I purchased Clinique's Chemistry as he does seem to enjoy this fragrance very much. It smells great on him too. Well, most fragrances do actually.

He bought me heaps of stuff. Aftershaves, a camera...a telescope. I was spoiled, again. My initial thought when I saw the telescope was that I would be able to spy on the neighbours. I'm not creepy, I promise, just nosy.

But apparently the telescope is a special astronomical tool that requires objects to be at least a couple of miles away to be able to focus on them. Neighbourhood surveillance is off the to do list for another year. *sad face.

We had Christmas lunch at Melbourne's Brighton Savoy Hotel. It's a 4 star hotel. A little bit posh.

It was great. We arrived and I was struck by the fact that staff were lining the street, directing their festively motivated patrons in the right direction to get parked. When we parked our car, there were more staff directing people to the elevators and stairs, then more staff lining the reception areas and corridors, all ensuring people were organised and at all times oriented to where they were and where they were going. It was all very well organised, and it made me feel very special.

We were shown into an area with tables indulgently draped with rich, white cloth. Our starters consisted of prawns, oysters, smoked salmon, prawn cocktail, pancake...I'm sure I'm forgetting something. There was so much on offer. The main was turkey, ham, vegetables, cranberry sauce...yum!! And then for dessert I had a Christmas plum pudding with berries and cream and Sam had a sundae. Like I said, we are very good to ourselves.

The staff waiting on us were friendly and accessible. One waiter was particularly fantastic as he kept my glass full with beer at all times. Those are the people who should be cherished. Thank you, young sir!

There was also a lady, peppy in spirit and festive in dress, singing live. She entertained the children and adults alike, mindful of the diversity of her audience.

And of course, no Christmas lunch would be complete without the special guest...Santa! He looked a bit skinny this year, maybe a 32 inch waist, so his diet is going well. However he was still full of Christmas cheer and was handing gifts to the kids, Ho-Ho-Ho - ing as he went.

The whole lunch was lovely!

The rest of the day we relaxed, dozed a little and spent some time with netflix.

It ain't a bad life, is it?

Merry Christmas everyone! Have a great 2016 when it comes!!